A letter

Dear Rock Star,

First, I'm sorry that you don't have a real name yet. This has been a challenge for you dad and me. Your daddy has come up with Omari and McLovin. He's not the biggest help. I was sure of your name 2.5 times. The first name was Cullen. Different. Not weird. Then I told the name to your daddy and he replied, "Colon? Like a butt?" That was the first time I had heard the name out loud. It sounded so nice in my head. Even though Cullen is pronounced a bit different from colon, and a colon isn't exactly a butt, it's close enough to you get teased on the play ground. So Cullen was out.

Next came the name Madsen. Once again, different. Not weird. But when I said it to a few different people they all replied, "For a girl?" I'm afraid with the name Madsen you would spend your life saying, "Madsen, not Madison." Back to the baby name book.

Last week I found Foster. I loved it! But the response was, "like foster child?" or "Foster's Imaginary Playhouse?" I have no idea what Foster's Imaginary Playhouse is, but more than one person said it, so it's legit. But Foster isn't terrible; it might show up again on the list.

Right now we really like Payson, Porter and Xavier. So Rock Star, if you have a name preference could you please have it come to me in a dream or perhaps a billboard? Just make it really obvious.

We're all anxiously awaiting your birth. Your brother and sister both say they will change your diaper and I only have to pay them $.10/diaper. I know! It's a good deal. Faith wrote a book titled, "My baby brudr" She will read it to you when you get here.

I had my fourth ultrasound on last week and got to see your cute little image again. I'll have another ultrasound next month. Apparently you are very big. 90 percentile big. They estimated you at 5 and a half pounds already. The doctor was a little worried that I might have to have a c-section. I'm not worried about that. You know how some boots are made for walking? These hips are made for birthing.

Your daddy, always being the comedian, said that they will have to circumcise you before you are born just to get you out. I'll explain that joke to you someday. But if you are like your daddy or brother, you already get it. My Trenkle men are proud of being men.

I promise you I will be a much more relaxed, competent mother. Your sister and brother got the neurotic, panicked mom. But I feel like I know what I'm doing now. If you could do me a favor, please quit doing whatever it is you are doing under my ribs on the left side. And that thing in my pelvis that makes me want to cry. If you can't, no big deal, I'll be okay. May 28th will be here soon.

'Till we meet.